Does 'onboarding' sound like 'waterboarding' to anyone else?

The company I work for is small. Small enough that there's no HR department, and no standard procedure for bringing on new hires, or in the irritating parlance of the day, 'onboarding'. Given that we're about to bring several people in soon, something needs to be done to plan for it, so I'm going to take care of it.

I'm working on a standardized method for getting the person set up from the IT perspective, and I'm going to be getting input from the one HR-ish person who deals with everything like that. I think it'll make things a lot smoother, especially when it comes to ordering licenses and hardware, and setting up accounts and so forth. I don't think I'm to the point that everything can be scripted, but I'm getting a bit closer.

I also want to produce some documentation that educates the new employee about the internal processes and jargon. It's complex to the point that it takes most people a year to pick up the various interconnections between systems. I think I can make a massive cut in the time by providing diagrams and documentation. At the very least, it hasn't been tried before, so I think it would be an improvement.

Anyone want to share what kind of..."onboarding" *shudder* procedures they have at their business?